Saturday, December 18, 2010

home

with all the friends in the world and the greatest family i could ask for - why do i feel so lonely? life moves on here without me and its almost as if i dont belong here any more. i dont have my old room, all my friends have moved on and my family treats me like i still live here. i dont live here. im from here. i grew up here. now i grow up in another state with different people, different behaviors, different activities, different responsibilities. i dont really like change. i like when other people are assertive and i can support them. i usually take the lead on stuff though because if something needs to get done i know i can do it. this year has gone by way too quickly and i dont see how ive changed but i know i have. i just feel like something is... missing. i dont know what it is though and its bothering me.
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2 comments:

  1. Jennie SmithsonDecember 19, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    I know what you mean about some of that. like, everytime I visit home I feel more and more like I don't belong here and I belong back in utah. never thought I'd feel that way! but I miss byu so much every time I leave it! and it really is almost like I don't fit in here anymore sometimes. it's just 2 complete different worlds and it's hard adjusting to the styles of each every time I'm there.

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  2. KariElleDecember 20, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    yeah! but now that i have things to do (dad is putting me to work on cleaning the house and the garage [which hasnt been cleaned since we did it years ago...]) its not so bad. i invited a ton of random friends to go to a place similar to jump on it. that should be way fun. hopefully! what im thinking about now is what im going to do on new years... parties here arent the, um, safest? haha

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